Mid years are just about two weeks away.. English paper one is nearing either this Friday or Monday. Sigh.. I’m so worried about my social studies. Then again, I say this, I’ve never gotten like 75% and above for almost any subject at all. Okay, maybe I got that in 2 subjects? But anyway that was last year! This year.. I’ve not gotten 75% or above for any of my subjects. It was Term Assessment, so shouldn’t be too bad as it only contributes to 10% of the overall. The thing is, in order to get to express I have to get at least 75% and above for all my subjects and, how am I supposed to do that? Although I’ve started studying one month before the Mid years, 7th of April, I’ve haven’t really been mugging hard. I keep getting distracted. And I seldom stick to my study timetable cuz it was set by myself! I keep making changes to it, like.. shortening the study time. Every night I feel that I’ve wasted the day.. and I tell myself to be focused the next day. The same thing happens the next day, I waste the day and regret at night before I go to sleep again. The cycle repeats itself. This isn’t getting me anywhere. Although, I’ve prayed to God every night about my exams and stuff.. I still don’t feel that I can make it. Its like trying to do the impossible. Tryin to get 75% and above from bother line pass and even failed some. I know with God I can do the impossible. I know that in my mind. But I just can’t get that feeling. I know it’s a fact that with God, I can do the impossible, but I just can’t get my senses to feel that way. I worry every day, every night. Well.. what lies ahead of me doesn’t seem like a really perfect path. Even if I do get to express, will I be able to cope? Will I be able to take the pressure? The stress? but if I say I can’t take it, I should just stay the normal acad, what lies ahead for me? Waste an extra year in secondary school? Take three more years to complete my studies? Cuz I’m planning to get into the polytechnic. I love a free life, so its set that I’m going to the polytechnic. Spend 8 years on my education? Okay.. maybe that would seem like smooth sailing for me but, I don’t wanna waste an extra year when I can save one year. Even if its stressful, I will endure. I know I won’t be alone, the Lord will always be there. Right now, I think I’ll just have to trust that the Lord would take me to the correct path, the path that he had planned for me. But I still really really wanna get to express. Its not really that impossible with Chinese out of the way. Cuz I take CLB(Chinese language B). But I still have doubts. I don’t doubt the Lord but, myself =( Can you people pray for me? I really really hope to do well this mid year. And I would appreciate it if you really prayed for me. Thanks =))
~entrusting my future to the Lord. Hmm.. seems hard, but I’ll try~
'But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will surve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.'Joshua 24:15 - CrossRoads
