Arrg! Dunno whats happening lately. I keep get frustrated over little things.
For example. Take tennis, no one wants to play with me cuz I suck. I get so frustrated and end up screwing up all the shots I get. I hit my hardest without much skill. The ball either goes over the court or its just out. Now.. take this celebration I’m organizing. It was supposed to be tomorrow but.. only 3 people could make out out 20+ can you believe it?? I felt like a complete looser who just can’t get anything right. My esteem went down so much. But I tried to pick myself up and postponed the celebration to next week. I did it not cuz I was confident that next week would any better, but cuz of my complex thinking. If you want, you could call it stupidity. I often think out of the box. I don’t think about what normal people think. Like.. I think, what kind of person people would see me as if I act in a certain way. In my mind.. I know that when I’m angry I might feel better if I swear or smth. But in my mind I know it wouldn’t do much good and I would sin anw. So why not I be stupid or crazy and not say anything? Why not laugh about it? My sprits are down but my mind is still functioning. I’ve cooled down a little from this morning already so.. guys, please don’t disappoint me okay? Don’t suddenly tell me that you can’t make it when next Sunday is nearing. I wanna get back my confidence again. And I really thank the Lord for such a unique mind to help me pick myself up. As said in an article somewhere, left-handers are usually people that are more in the right mind. So they don’t really find any need to make themselves beautiful or anything. Usually you would see more overweight people that are left-handers. The left-handers usually don’t dress up or do anything to improve their image. They're a.. more realistic bunch. They would think "so what if I look good" at least smth like that. You could also say, the opposite of me. The right-handers are a total different bunch. Right-handers are usually a little paranoid or crazy in the mind. Most of them care a lot about their image so if they’re born overweight, you would see them trying to loose weight. I’m a right-hander so I think a little more differently as I have mentioned earlier. Actually, the article only applied to females. As for guys.. its rather unpredictable. But I think it applies to me anyway.
Okay why did I even start on this? x)
Sorry if my explaination was unclear.

~I think my minds telling me to bang my head on the wall now, jk~

issit cloud nine?